It’ll all be over soon :) thank you guys for everything. Hannah, I wrote about you in my video so make sure you watch it. Remember guys, onesies and frilly socks!!! I’ll be with Michael soon, I’ll make sure I tell her about all the fun we had (Lydia and Lucy) :))))
Oh my shit, I feel like I’m going to break at any moment. I have a plan, I know what to do, it’s just a matter of when. Part of me wants to live, but the other part is so strong. Do I just give up? Should I keep fighting? I don’t fucking know what to do.
I don’t know if you can see in this picture, but my lips were blue! I went kayaking and fell in, the water was like ice! I couldn’t warm up and started throwing up and couldn’t speak properly or think. It was so weird! I was lying in the bath and I was still freezing, it took ages to warm up again. I love kayaking, but some places are just too cold!
I’ve never seen a thing that needed to be transparent more than this.
becoming thinner has not
- given me more confidence
- made me happier
- given me better body image
- made people like me more
- allowed me to wear more ‘revealing’ clothes
- made other people proud of me
- made me feel proud of myself
- made me a better person
- fixed the problems in my life that began this vicious cycle
Do you ever think like what has happened to my life? Four years ago (before I got sick) I was in high school and doing well. I had friends, boyfriends, a job, hobbies, church, and now I’ve lost most of that. I know I’m getting my life back, but isn’t it just a matter of time before I self sabotage and ruin everything again? I’m so fucking impulsive it’s a joke. I was so close to buying paracetamol today, and nothing major has even happened! Arghh I’m so sick of myself. I’m so sick of this stupid personality disorder!
Anonymous asked: How are you going to face seeing him in court? I've always been too scared to report it because I don't know if I could do it :(
I don’t have to actually see him, thankfully. I just do a video interview and they use that in court! Xx
Anonymous asked: Do you follow anyone or know anyone on tumblr in recovery that lives in Spain?
I don’t think so, sorry love!
- Me: But [therapist name], I would be soooo much happier if I just lost a little bit of weight....
- Therapist: Losing weight isn't a way to happiness. If you keep hating your body until you get down to that goal weight, then you won't have anything but hatred towards your body.
- Me: But I want to be happier....
- Therapist: If losing weight made you happy, Michelle, then eating disorder clinics would be filled with the happiest people.....
Anonymous asked: Rosy I'm struggling so much I need advice, people keep passing comments saying that I look really well and with suffering with anorexia obviously I'm gonna get triggered by this. I just need advice on how to deal with this, I'm crying right now because of how strong thoughts are! I want to restrict so much I don't know what to do :(
Remember that those people are only trying to make you feel better, they don’t mean to hurt your feelings. Remember that looking well is a good thing, and doesn’t mean you’re “fat”, it just means you are getting your life back! I know it’s hard restoring weight, but think of all the benefits of it, hopefully that will lessen the negatives xxx