do it for the peanut butter!

My names Rosy, I'm claiming back my life from a long battle of anorexia. I've spend 8 months in Rhodes Farm and was discharged on 2nd of October 2013. I've recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, I was inpatient because of this for 5 months in PICU. I'm currently struggling a lot, so my blog might be triggering xx

Anonymous asked: Are you okay rosy , im getting a bit worried from the last two posts you posted and then nothing for the past two days which is out of character for you it seems , please let us know your alive

I’m alive! Sorry, I’m just really struggling at the moment. I’m seeing my nurse today, so I’ll do a little update on how that goes :) xxx

Anonymous asked: if you've never binged and don't eat 2000 calories, how did you ever get to a BMI of 27?

I did minnie maud for a few months, so that’s how I gained the weight. I was eating at least 3000 calories every day and doing no exercise. Xx

Trigger warning

Fucking hell, I’ve ruined everything. There’s no point even trying anymore, it’s a joke. I should ring the crisis team but their pretty unhelpful so I don’t know what to do. I’ve taken my medication and prn, so do I just wait now? What if I fuck up again?

Truthful update - trigger warning

Things are super hard right now. I’m trying to stop myself relapsing but it’s like one step forwards two steps back. I know everyone is saying that now I’m a healthy weight I should stop losing weight, but to be honest I still look really overweight so why should I stop? But the problem is, when I restrict I get really depressed because I love food and I can’t have it so I get suicidal. Last night was awful, I was kayaking with my friends and started crying because everything was too much, so I got out of the water and spoke to my lead worker. I told her everything and sadly she had to tell my mum everything I’d said :( one of my amazing friends has slept over two nights in a row which has really helped. To deal with my shitty thoughts last night I got really drunk, which helped, but it’s not something I should do very often.
I had therapy today and it wasn’t very good, my therapist really doesn’t understand eating disorders! She said I’m not in the right mind frame to do trauma therapy anymore, which really upset me because I just want to get it over and done with! Oh well. I’m going out to see my friend now, so hopefully that’ll help my mood!

Anonymous asked: U say ur no long over weight and are now a healthy weight so were u a BMI of over 25? U certainly don't look like u have been. So to say u were over weight isn't fact.

Yep, my highest bmi was 27 :O !!

Anonymous asked: Just FYI your BMI can say healthy weight but it all depends on ur body type. Like you can have a BMI of 19 and still be chubby because you have a small frame. So just look at ur body and if u see extra fat then get rid of it, don't stop just bc the BMI says healthy

Geee thanks dude! High five for making my achievement make me feel like shit!

Anonymous asked: Do you think you're relapsing rosy? :(

Aw man, I really don’t know. Some days I’d say yes, other days I’d say I was just losing weight healthily. But then can you ever lose weight healthily when you have anorexia? I don’t know. Things are really hard right now, but I’m trying my hardest.


Anonymous asked: Hey lovely, how's life going at the mo?! Hope your doing well of course xxx

Heeeey! I’m not gonna lie, things are really tough at the moment. I know I should tell someone, but I feel like I’m not sick enough to deserve help. Everything’s gotten really hard again and I’m