do it for the peanut butter!

My names Rosy, I'm claiming back my life from a long battle of anorexia. I've spend 8 months in Rhodes Farm and was discharged on 2nd of October 2013. I've recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, I was inpatient because of this for 5 months in PICU. I'm currently struggling a lot, so my blog might be triggering xx

It’ll all be over soon :) thank you guys for everything. Hannah, I wrote about you in my video so make sure you watch it. Remember guys, onesies and frilly socks!!! I’ll be with Michael soon, I’ll make sure I tell her about all the fun we had (Lydia and Lucy) :))))

Oh my shit, I feel like I’m going to break at any moment. I have a plan, I know what to do, it’s just a matter of when. Part of me wants to live, but the other part is so strong. Do I just give up? Should I keep fighting? I don’t fucking know what to do.

I don’t know if you can see in this picture, but my lips were blue! I went kayaking and fell in, the water was like ice! I couldn’t warm up and started throwing up and couldn’t speak properly or think. It was so weird! I was lying in the bath and I was still freezing, it took ages to warm up again. I love kayaking, but some places are just too cold!

I don’t know if you can see in this picture, but my lips were blue! I went kayaking and fell in, the water was like ice! I couldn’t warm up and started throwing up and couldn’t speak properly or think. It was so weird! I was lying in the bath and I was still freezing, it took ages to warm up again. I love kayaking, but some places are just too cold!


I’ve never seen a thing that needed to be transparent more than this.

I’ve never seen a thing that needed to be transparent more than this.

(via turnanother-page)

Lunch at work! It’s a super late lunch, 3pm! Glad I had a big breakfast :)

rubyinrecovery:

becoming thinner has not 

  • given me more confidence 
  • made me happier
  • given me better body image
  • made people like me more 
  • allowed me to wear more ‘revealing’ clothes 
  • made other people proud of me 
  • made me feel proud of myself 
  • made me a better person
  • fixed the problems in my life that began this vicious cycle

(via thefutureisohsobright)

Do you ever think like what has happened to my life? Four years ago (before I got sick) I was in high school and doing well. I had friends, boyfriends, a job, hobbies, church, and now I’ve lost most of that. I know I’m getting my life back, but isn’t it just a matter of time before I self sabotage and ruin everything again? I’m so fucking impulsive it’s a joke. I was so close to buying paracetamol today, and nothing major has even happened! Arghh I’m so sick of myself. I’m so sick of this stupid personality disorder!

Anonymous asked: How are you going to face seeing him in court? I've always been too scared to report it because I don't know if I could do it :(

I don’t have to actually see him, thankfully. I just do a video interview and they use that in court! Xx

Anonymous asked: Do you follow anyone or know anyone on tumblr in recovery that lives in Spain?

I don’t think so, sorry love!

  • Me: But [therapist name], I would be soooo much happier if I just lost a little bit of weight....
  • Therapist: Losing weight isn't a way to happiness. If you keep hating your body until you get down to that goal weight, then you won't have anything but hatred towards your body.
  • Me: But I want to be happier....
  • Therapist: If losing weight made you happy, Michelle, then eating disorder clinics would be filled with the happiest people.....

Anonymous asked: Rosy I'm struggling so much I need advice, people keep passing comments saying that I look really well and with suffering with anorexia obviously I'm gonna get triggered by this. I just need advice on how to deal with this, I'm crying right now because of how strong thoughts are! I want to restrict so much I don't know what to do :(

Remember that those people are only trying to make you feel better, they don’t mean to hurt your feelings. Remember that looking well is a good thing, and doesn’t mean you’re “fat”, it just means you are getting your life back! I know it’s hard restoring weight, but think of all the benefits of it, hopefully that will lessen the negatives xxx