do it for the peanut butter!

My names Rosy, I'm claiming back my life from a long battle of anorexia. I've spend 8 months in Rhodes Farm and was discharged on 2nd of October 2013. I've recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, I was inpatient because of this for 5 months in PICU. I'm currently struggling a lot, so my blog might be triggering xx

What a crazy day! Today I’ve done 6 hours of kayakin, it was super fun! I’m so badly sunburnt, but I really don’t care. I’m now eating some chocolate to reward myself for a hard days work :) one happy Rosy!

Anonymous asked: rosy pls eat at least 2000 :( like we're not expecting you to Keep up the 3000 that MM recommends but 2000 are totally normal and healthy, and not too much at all! you're a Teenager, you Need more than 1400 :( much love xx

When I was in Rhodes farm I was on lower than 2000, and that’s what my team recommended. I know I should be eating more, but I’m gaining on this amount anyway, so there’s no problem xxx

Anonymous asked: That's like only 1400- 1500 calories! That's not healthy and that's not what your team should be suggesting! They are encouraging your relapse

I know it’s lower than the normal amount, but they are encouraging me to lose a bit of weight, which in my case is healthy. I know that it’s not the smartest idea allowing me to eat so little, but it’s working for me right now :)

Anonymous asked: not to lessen the significance of peanut butter tho it is still AWESOME

HAHAHA! Yes you’re totally right there my friend xxx

I’m going to do an intake post because it will hopefully keep me on track :) I’m going to put a TRIGGER WARNING up just incase.
Breakfast: 30 grams of bran flakes with rice milk
Lunch: chicken and lettuce sandwich
Snack: two nectarines and one apple
Tea: sausage roll (I’ve been craving this all week!) with lettuce, beetroot, pepper, mayonaise and tiny bit of cheese
Snack (haven’t had yet): chocolate protein bar

This is the meal plan I’ve discussed with my doctor today, and it will hopefully keep me healthy, but allow me to lose a bit of weight.

I’m going to do an intake post because it will hopefully keep me on track :) I’m going to put a TRIGGER WARNING up just incase.

Breakfast: 30 grams of bran flakes with rice milk
Lunch: chicken and lettuce sandwich
Snack: two nectarines and one apple
Tea: sausage roll (I’ve been craving this all week!) with lettuce, beetroot, pepper, mayonaise and tiny bit of cheese
Snack (haven’t had yet): chocolate protein bar

This is the meal plan I’ve discussed with my doctor today, and it will hopefully keep me healthy, but allow me to lose a bit of weight.

Anonymous asked: You should rename your blood recovering for rosy! It's about you not the peanut butter ❤️

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I’m going to do it! Thank you anon for suggesting it! Xxx

choosinglifein-colour:

Just a reminder that less does not equal healthy.

The low-calorie option is not necessarily the healthiest. Your body needs calories. Calories give us life. Calories are not bad.

(via jellyin-mybelly)

Can we all just appreciate the fact that today I had a normal lunch. Even though it was from the diet range, I ate a whole sandwich. I’m so proud of myself for pulling myself out of this relapse!
Anorexia: 0
Rosy: 1

Anonymous asked: Try not to relapse babe 😔 you're so inspirational

I’m not going to, just getting healthy :) xx

Huge meltdown, but positive outcome!

Trigger warning!!
My dad just came round to give my brother some money he owed him, but my brother was out so I took the money and spoke to my dad. I asked him if he could please start paying my mum maintenance again because my mum is finding it on the money front. He started lecturing me about how hard things are in the uk, and how he was much off in Australia. I told him we should just move back because the move over here was pointless. I told him that I’m eating barely anything and it’s probably going to turn into a huge relapse. I started crying saying how I’ve ruined everyone’s life’s and then ran into the kitchen and took some tablets. I didn’t take many before me mum stopped me and I literally begged her to let me die. She just hugged me and said it will get better as the years go by, and I’ve fought for so long I can last another night. I went to lye down on the couch and she rang the crisis team, which offered no support. They told mum to either take me to a&e or wait till tomorrow to see my gp. So we decided I’d just go to bed early and hopefully sleep it off. When we were lying on my bed I told her how little calories I’ve eaten today, and how much weight I’d lost in the past week. We spoke for ages about the good things in my life, how I want to help other struggling teens when I’m older. We decided to go into the kitchen and I made myself something to eat. It was so hard, putting the food I’ve avoided all week into my mouth, but I know the longer I put it of the harder it becomes. We’ve agreed that I eat x calories a day so that I still lose weight, but healthier.
I’m so glad I have such an amazing mum, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her!

Anonymous asked: hi rosy! sending good vibes your way xxx don't beat yourself up about your little lapse, it's not your fault, it's your disorder's. reach out for help, tell your family you're struggling and hop back on the recovery train:* you're beautiful and you've been through so much, you can do this as well! We all believe in you! don't forget- every day you have the power to change your life, it doesn't matter what happened yesterday! Stay strong, fight on, ily <3

Thank you love! I’m trying to reach out to my family, but it’s hard. They don’t really understand, they think I’m just losing weight healthily. I don’t know. I’ll try my hardest xxx

trigger warning..

Wow, that was really stupid of you Rosy. Well fucking done. So much for working and going back to college. I can’t even eat a cooked dinner or a sandwich. What the hell happened? I was doing so well :(